i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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