Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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