we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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