umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
