I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
