just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize