my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
