dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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