You work out of a Hotel?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
