I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
