I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
