hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
