Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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