i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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