Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
