He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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