C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found puke in my bra..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
