Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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