epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
