I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
