I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
