just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
