pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
