If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
