If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize