No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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