Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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