Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
