My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
