new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
