No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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