we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
