I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
