he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Drunk is not a location!
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