Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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