all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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