lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You can't just leave with hair like that
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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