I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
