Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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