I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
