normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
