are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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