Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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