This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize