Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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