What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have feelings that need drinking.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
