did you get engaged???
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
