I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
