How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
