; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
