My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
