Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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