I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
