Nicole vs. Life
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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