People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
