I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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