Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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