sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
do nipples grow back?
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