Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
