Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
