Don't you send me to vm
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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