i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize