hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize