She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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