i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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