I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
