Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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