So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
