Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize