I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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