I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
