he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so much tequila, so little girl.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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