YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I am available for nakedness
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
