Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its about making memories worth repressing
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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